Wading Back In…

So as you can tell by the new counter at the top, I haven’t been kissed in forever as well as been on a date since January 2, 2004! I went through a sabbatical on dating for a while, and then had Space-in-between with a fellow grad student, then a long flirt-relationship with a coworker, and just nothing for the last year. I have been so consumed with trying to establish my professional life that I have neglected my personal life completely and used free time to hang-out with friends and do laundry. I haven’t spent any time going out and meeting new people to even bump into any potential partners. I just kept saying “once I find a great job then I will start to think seriously about a dating, or once I loose 40 pounds I will start to put myself out there.”

Well this thinking isn’t really great because you know what? Life will never be perfect enough for you to pursue a relationship or get married. So if you are like me and aren’t dating or proposing because you are waiting for all your financial ducks to be in a row, or waiting to be done with school, or waiting for the sky to turn purple, stop this thinking right now. Life is what is happening to us right now while we are waiting for this utopia to happen, and you know what? Dating and mating is apart of life. And let’s face it…there are some things that aren’t in your control so if you are holding your breath you just might pass-out. So if you are waiting to be matched for residency and am putting off getting into a relationship because “you don’t do long distance” isn’t a great idea because who’s to say that person is going to sit around and wait for you? And just because long distance doesn’t appeal to you or didn’t work in the past doesn’t mean you should close yourself off to it. Limiting yourself and setting up rules based on your fears isn’t a good idea because you can miss out on a lot of exciting opportunities and memories that you might cherish. Now for the things that are within your control, work on them but don’t use it as an excuse to hide out at home. Me…I am 15 pounds down and 15 more to go before summer hits, but I am not going to let that stop me from dipping my toe in the dating pool.

I realized that there are so many things that I miss about dating or like about dating that it has started to out-way my fear of rejection and fear of being in a bad relationship. Here is my list:

What I miss…

1. Having someone who really cares about me so much that they invest interest in my life in which they want to share in my joys and sorrows.
   
2. Having someone come over to my house for movie marathons, like the Godfather series, where we snuggle-up together on my coach and I feel comfortable enough to fall asleep in their lap.
3. 
   Strolling down the street hand-in-hand with someone on a spring/summer day and stealing quick kisses because, hey we are crazy about each other.
   
4. Being kissed on the forehead after saying something completely politically incorrect or just plain strange because well…I am bit eccentric.
   
5. Having someone to do church activities with.
   
6. Once in awhile talking on the phone till 1am on a school night and going to work the next day tired, but content because every minute spent chatting was worth it.
   
7. Sharing dreams and my life as a child with someone and vice versa.
   
8. Getting all spruced up to go out to dinner because it’s a special date.
   
9. Being in a room with someone on a Sunday afternoon reading perspective books/papers and not saying a thing.
   
10. Cooking a special meal for them and vice versa.
    
11. Indoor and outdoor picnics.
    
12. Hearing “wow you look pretty today/tonight.”
    
13. Mix cds
    
14. Window shopping for furniture and dishware.
    
15. Football Sundays
    
16. Cleaning together on a Saturday morning listening to the music loud and busting into singing and soul-train line dancing (if you haven’t tried this with a partner let me tell you it is fun, fun, fun…especially if it Usher playing.
    
17. Praying together.
    
18. Literally having a shoulder to cry on.
    
19. Saying I love you to someone.
    
20. Small tokens of affection.