How to get back in the game...

If you have taken a hiatus from dating due to a relationship sabbatical for whatever reason in which you were doing some internal work, chances are you have been looking and giving off the vibe of being unavailable. This habit isn't as easy to break as one may think because once you commit yourself to being open to love; you have to do some external maintenance work.

Previously we have delve into the deep end of self-improvement, but now I want wade in the shallow end of things because well…regardless of how much we hate it, appearance is everything…and if you don't believe me, show-up at a job interview with jeans and a t-shirt and see what happens!

Shedding the old-armor

During my year-long sabbatical from dating…I took to the "I could care-less what I look like" look when it came to doing simple things, like running to the store for milk. However, once you decide that you want to jump into the dating game again…you have to remember that every public appearance is an opportunity. That isn't to say that you have to be glamed-up to take out the trash or be constantly on a man-hut, but you want to look decent enough that if you accidentally bump into someone in an aisle, or a clueless soul ask you where the tomatoes are…you will at least feel confident in your appearance to strike up a friendly conversation.

Remember confidence is everything when it comes to social situations and when you look good….you feel good about yourself.

A New Look

Another way to give your-self a boost in confidence is to go shopping and set aside clothes ear-marked for "social outings" or "date clothes." This helps give you initiative to get off your butt and put yourself out there. If you find a cute sexy top that you are dying to wear, you are more likely to drag yourself out of the house to wear it.

Loose Weight

Chances are that while you were either soul searching after a break-up or dedicated yourself to your career, you began dating Ben & Jerry. This isn't a bad thing…but if you comb through your closet and find the last outfit you wore on a big date and it doesn't fit…don't panic or get upset with yourself but consider this as an opportunity to start fixing up the barn.

I can lie to you and say embrace yourself the way you are, but you and I both know that you won't and will complain about the 10-25 extra pounds you gained until you do something about it. Remember again confidence is everything and if you honestly don't feel comfortable with where you are right now with your weight then make strides to change it.

I know I am a far cry from my "dating weight" but that doesn't stop me from working on it, while still seeking out potential partners.

Rome wasn't built in a day and you will not loose weight over night, so don't feel that you have to wait to start dating till you have lost all the weight. You can still be socially active and with every pound you shed, your confidence will rise and people will start to take notice.

Now before I hear someone screaming for me to turn in my feminist card let's think about this…

If you aren't willing to consider someone who doesn't take care of their appearance or their body…then how on earth came you expect them to expect less from you?

Become a Social-Lite

Potential dates are NOT going to randomly show-up at your door on Friday night in the middle of your USA Law & Order marathon. You have to actually put yourself out there which means join a social club, participate in your favorite hobby, and attend parties that your friends throw.

And While you're out…

Remember you are there to have fun first and foremost. Yes you are looking for potential partners, but if you have this expectation that you are going to meet someone every time you go out, then you will be setting yourself up for disappointment over and over again. Your main objective is to look your best and come home with a tummy ache from laughing so hard. People want to get to know people who look like they are having fun…not people who are desperately scanning the room on a man-hunt.

Someone they should know

For the 100th time…confidence is everything so when you enter a room, remember that the world is your stage. Hold your head-up high, smile, and sash-say yourself into the room and start meeting and greeting. You presence should always command attention…not demand it.

Be You.

If you are a Type-A person who has a ton of personality like moi, then work with it.

For example, say you are at a social event where there is dancing. Don't wait till the floor is filled-up before you go out there and shake your groove thing. Show off your confidence and your amazing hips by hitting the dance floor and get the party started. This says to a man, that one…you are confident and sexy, and two…you don't take yourself seriously and know how to have fun.

Learn how to make your personality type work for you, so you can attract the right people that will compliment your personality.