The Male Teacher

No matter what relationship you have with a man, marriage/dating, friendship/in-between, or plain old related…you can learn something from them that will help you become a better person in any relationship. Whether women realize it or not, men can help us become a better person…even those who indulgences you in your narcissism in which they would be happy to write a burn book with you. So here my top four list of things that I have learned from the different men in my life…


The Art of Pointless Conversation: My Father

Now I know that this title sounds bizarre, but bear with me here.

Most women love to analyze just about every topic on the planet and 65% of our conversations revolve around men, shopping, diets, and celebrity talk. However, men have this ability to find the most innate thing to talk about and will expound on the wonders of it for hours.

Once my father and I spent a full hour talking about trees…yes trees and it was the best conversation ever. Talking about random stuff like this can bring you closer to a person just as much as talking about "the problems of the relationship, or where is this going." Men realize that not everything needs to be beaten to death or analyze to the point of exhaustion. Sometimes it is fun to sit around and shoot the shit (pardon the expression) and just enjoy each other's company without a clear purpose.

The Art of Fair Fighting: George

So my friend who we will call George has talked me a lot about how to effectively argue.

As a professional I deal with conflict head-on, but outside the office I have a tendency to fight like a stereotypical girl when it comes to men. I get upset, complain to my girlfriends about it, give the colder shoulder or make cutting remarks, but when ask by said male what is wrong…I say nothing and expect him to figure out what he did and if he doesn't…I decide that he just doesn't care enough to read my mind.

However, I think that I have made several strides to undo this behavior by mimicking George. When George is upset or irritated with me, he usually lets me know upfront and in the moment, or he will call and state why he is upset with me. In the past I was uneasy with conflict and thought that if a man was upset with me it meant that he doesn't care about me anymore, but it is actually the opposite…men do not let people they DON"T value upset them…only people they truly care about. So though it may take me a little bit longer then most men to share upset feelings…I am getting there.

The Art of Listening: George

Like most women I consider myself a fantastic listener because well…I am female, but the biggest misconception out there is that women are better listeners then men. That is I found to be a falsehood…because in reality sometimes women want to fix problems more then men do.

As women we have this motherly instinct to fix things and in the work environment, our male counterparts expect this from us on a daily basis, so we have a tendency to bring this behavior home with us…Memo to self and others…STOP DOING THIS!

First off, men do not like feeling vulnerable or weak. They are taught that they are the stronger sex who needs to be able to handle things…poor guys. So if a man in your life opens up to you….you should:

Number one: Feel completely and utterly honored that he has chosen you to do so. Because men do not call the world to talk about their emotions and the mere fact that they are willing to be vulnerable with you is important and not something to take lightly.

Number two: Do not share information with anyone. Like stated above, men aren't interested in calling up Dan and Joe to talk about how sad they are, so it isn't your place to share with the free world either. Even if said conversation doesn't come with a "keep this between us" disclaimer, if the conversation involves fears, sadness, or anything that has a theme of vulnerability…keep the emotional details within the confides of your relationship until further notice.

Number three: Do not interject. Sometimes we love to interject in the middle of someone's speech because we think we have the answer to the problem or we are trying to show that we understand them. Even if men try to fix your problems, they aren't really interested in you fixing theirs. Your job is to just listen…without interruptions or comparing their problems to yours or sharing your problems trying to sympathize with them. Your only job is to hear them out and ask what you can do make them feel better…which has nothing to do with actually fixing the problem. This could range from watching his favorite movie with him to doing a strip-tease for him…okay that last part was for the married folk, but you understand what I mean…the point is, is to learn to be a soft place to fall and his number #1 cheerleader (am I not talking about in a sexual way either).

The Art of Talking a Compliment: All men

For some reason, some of us women do not like to take compliments.

Whenever someone says something nice to us, we have to volley the comment back in their faces by saying something negative about ourselves. Memo self and others…STOP DOING THIS.

Who cares if you are 50 or more pounds overweight…if you look good in the outfit, then by golly you look good…period. So learn to say thank you…and if you simply must say something else, try complimenting the person back.

So whether you are single as dollar bill on happily coupled up...learning to something from the male species will not only help you become a better person, but will also bring you closer to them.